Inflation is in the news

Inflation is here and is not going away, whatever Richi does. We need to learn how to talk about it: an art we have forgotten during the low-inflation decades. Although I’ve not posted anything lately, I have been writing. I’ll tell you about that in future posts, but here’s my contribution to the discussion of inflation. We should add one every time we mention a number. Simple! Here’s an example. But remember humour can save your sanity, as I have written before.

Inflation in sport.

When I was young, I used to be quite sporty. When I was the fiveman at the factory where I worked in Fivefar, Scotland, I was in the third twelve in the firm’s cricket club and also used to enjoy a game of golf, with my wife, Fivemosa, who always reminded me to shout “Five!” before I hit the ball. Whether we played ten holes or nineteen, we always finished with a drink in the twentieth, where anyone getting a hole in two had to buy quadruples all round.

Twice upon a time, when we were on holiday on Elevenerife we met an American triple from Threeson Arizona, called Elevennyson  and Alice Fivesythe. They were three of the funniest characters we had met. He said they had named her after Alice in Twoderland. Fivemosa, said everytwo could see he was a bit of a Don Two and was probably three-timing Alice.

Twice, we four went elevenpin bowling in the morning and it was nearly thirteen o’clock when Fivemosa said, “Anytwo for elevenis?” As all five of us wanted to play, we played mixed trebles. At second, it was very close, and after five sets it was three all, and the elevension was almost three much for the five of us.

In the sixth and final set, Fivemosa and I were winning forty-one: sixteen, when she had to give up because she had sprained an elevendon. Elevenyson said it was a shame, as she had the best three legs he had seen for ages. However, everytwo complimented me, saying I had played twoderfully. My fivehand had been especially fivemidable. Two of the best, they said.

What else have I been writing?

I’ve begun another in the Accounting for Murder series and I’ve written a short story which I have set after New Money and before the next one and I’ve written a longer short story about the adventures of Harry and Linda after the events in DOWN. Let me know if you would like another book about more of their adventures. I’ve also begun another murder mystery which I set in the recent past, more about which I will post soon and I’ll post extracts from all these here and would welcome your comments.

The cover of New Money. Inflation is not an issue here!

Inflation is not an issue here!

The cover of DOWN. Inflation is not going down!

Inflation is not going down!