British Citizenship – what test?

British Citizenship requires passing a test in knowledge of the UK as well as an English language test, but what nobody tests is your Britishness. How far do you understand us Britons and how integrated are you? Some people think applicants should take such a test. I have produced a few sample questions to help you get the idea. You may be pleased to know the government will not be likely to take this seriously.

A ruined castle. Should British citizenship require knowledge of our history?

A ruined castle. Should British citizenship require knowledge of our history?

 

British Citizenship – example of questions about Britishness

  1. What is the most important event on the calendar?
    1. Christmas?
    2. The Cup Final?
    3. Your annual holiday?
    4. Your partner’s birthday?
  2. At work a mistake comes to light and they blame you. Do you:
    1. Apologise and take it on the chin?
    2. Blame the computer?
    3. Blame your predecessor?
    4. Blame Brexit/ the EU/the government?
  3.  When should a man do the cooking?
    1. Never?
    2. At Christmas?
    3. At barbeques and on camping trips?
    4. When relatives are visiting?
  4.  To whom should you send Christmas cards?
    1. Everyone you know?
    2. People who sent you one last year?
    3. People you like?
    4. People you need to suck up to?
  5. What’s the most important thing to do in church?
    1. Pray?
    2. Stay awake?
    3. Kneel?
    4. Have some small change handy for the collection?
  6. What should you do if someone calls you a ‘bloody stupid foreigner’?
    1. Punch them?
    2. Report them to the police for racial harassment?
    3. Walk away?
    4. Say, “I may be stupid but I’m not a foreigner” and show your citizenship certificate.
  7. You go for a drive in the country and get lost. Do you:
    1. Use your satnav?
    2. Look at a map?
    3. Ask someone?
    4. Keep going and hope?

ANSWERS

There are no right answers. We British are as varied as anyone else and we’d all give different answers. Whoever thinks we’re all stereotypes is as wrong as anyone who thinks all foreigners are the same. I have said before that immigration is not a crime.