Apologies are popular
Apologies pour out of some people with little thought. You may not value them. We may be getting one later today. for Partygate. I may comment on it later, but for now here’s a series of apologies I have written.
Apologies from a writer
My editor and I have been going through the latest draft of my book looking for instances of cultural and other insensitivity and in case there are any we have failed to address, let me apologise in advance. I can assure you the task was not easy and nearly drove us mental.
I must further apologise for that expression as I have no desire to trivialise mental illness of any kind. If my doctor heard me say that, she’d have a fit!
I’d like to apologise to any epileptics who regarded that remark as offensive. It’s so easy to make such a mistake. My editor and I sometimes feel that when it comes to this sort of thing it’s a case of the blind leading the blind.
I must apologise to any blind people who I may have upset.
I assure you that I take people’s concerns seriously. At least you now know that, contrary to some rumours, getting an apology out of me is not like getting a fiver out of a Yorkshireman.
I apologise to the entire population of Yorkshire for the unwarranted implication that they are mean. All I was tying to say was that when I get complaints they do not land on deaf ears.
I apologise to any deaf people who regarded that comment as insensitive. In fact, as I am hard of hearing myself, I am able to accept that apology on behalf of all aurally impaired people.
So I’ve made an apology and accepted it all at once. How’s that for killing two birds with one stone? What? Me – kill a bird with a stone? Never!
A final apology
The above is not 100% original. If you want to call it plagiarism, I apologise. If you know who gave me the idea, please let me know and I’ll apologise to them.